2013 in review

 
To borrow a quote from A Tale of Two Cities "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us...."

You came in with such hope and right in the middle, you devastated me with one swift blow.  At the close of it, I find it necessary to take stock of where I've come from in order to move forward into the future.  I'll do it in a way that I saw a friend do it - only I've added pictures too! 

January - Came in pregnant with expectations.  the last 3 boring weeks of bed rest and then all of a sudden a dramatic delivery and Luke was here!

Such a beautiful baby!
Such a beautiful delivery!

Then Luke went back into the hospital for Jaundice.  The euphoria I felt since his birth was replaced with worry and sadness to have to leave him all alone in the hospital.  Thankfully 38 hours later he was back home. 
 
 
February - celebrated my 29th birthday.  Euphoric sense of baby love all month long despite the long nights, tummy troubles and all of Luke's crying. 
 
one of my favorite pictures of that time

March -  nothing much happened here.  I went back to work after being off since November.  more baby love!
He looks so small in his swing
trying to get that fist in his mouth!
 
 
April - Still more baby love!  Thumb sucking and smiles started!
 
love his thumb sucking!

May - Celebrated my first Mother's Day as a mom.  It did NOT go well.  Richie didn't get me anything or do anything for it.  When I started crying he said "well I didn't know I was supposed to.  you aren't my mom"  SMH needless to say I hope he never makes that mistake again.  Shaved Luke's head because his hair looked ridiculous from the bald spots. 
 
Before we shaved it!
After we shaved it
 
June - Gram came to visit and met Luke for the first time!  Luke started eating cereal. 
 
 
July - Celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.  The Dunns came to visit and we took a giant family picture!  Took our first road trip to Dallas with Luke.  I'd say he cried about 50% of the drive.  Luke got sick for the very first time and it was pretty rough to be up all night with a feverish sick baby.   
 
poor baby was so sick!
Family picture!  Just missing Anthony


August - Flew with Luke for the first time.  We went to California to surprise Gram.  We met Perle Love for the first time!  While there, I found out that Brittany died on August 7.  Deep Darkness.  Lots of tears.  Depression.  Lots of going through the motions.
 
Gone but NEVER forgotten

This will forever be the picture hours AFTER I found out the news
September - more darkness.  more depression.  Everything is difficult.  Luke is one of the few shining lights in my life.  Richie turned 31 this month.  Started feeding Luke solid foods!
 
All I have now are her words

 
Luke loved solid foods!

 
October - starting to feel a little bit better.  Things aren't as difficult to enjoy.  Luke starting to crawl and pull himself up to stand.  Found out that my Gram's Leukemia was back.  More sadness and tears.  Got a tattoo to memorialize Brittany   
 
crawling


dandelion breaking into purple birds - her handwriting "With you always"
 
 
November - I'm starting to feel more like my normal self.  While I think that i'll never be the same again, life goes on.  Luke is more mobile now and pretty much happy all the time now.  We celebrated Luke's first Thanksgiving with all of our families. 
 
Luke's first time at the park

Love our family pictures
December - We went to Matt and Monica's wedding.  I graduated from UTSA with my MBA.  We celebrated Luke's first Christmas! 
 
Hurray for an MBA

Luke 1st Christmas
 
 
As truly difficult as the end of this year was, I cannot wish it be undone because of all the love and joy that it brought as well.  I can only hope that 2014 brings me more joy and none of the sadness.  A loss this great should not be repeatedly felt.  In 2014:
 
-  Luke will learn how to walk
-  Luke will start learning how to talk
-  I will squeeze in a trip to Utah - hopefully in March - to see my Gram and everyone else
-  We will probably renovate our garage to a new bedroom
-  I will begin studying for the GMAT again to prepare to applications to get my PhD
-  Hopefully Richie and I will get to go to Colorado on a baby free vacation sometime this summer
-  I will run my 3rd half marathon
-  I will have my 5th anniversary of turning 25... ok.. ok.. ok i'll be turning 30
-  I will get to fly to California in the beginning of June
 
I am looking forward to a joyous 2014 with Luke and Richie. 

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