3 weeks of hell
The last 3 weeks have been hell. Hearing the news that we were going to have a miscarriage was so very difficult, but even more so was the purgatory that came after that. When we went in for the first sonogram, we were told that it looked like an abnormal pregnancy, but on the off chance that I had any dates wrong, the doctor wanted to wait 2 weeks to see if there was any growth. If my body was going to naturally miscarry, it would happen in those two weeks. If not, we would do another sonogram. So we waited. and waited. In the waiting, my mind played tricks on me. I was so terrified of NOT having a miscarriage and going in and hearing that there was life in there after all, but that it was tiny because of severe health defects. This fear and worry grew as each day passed. Then I felt so guilty that I was terrified to see life. Fear, worry, and guilt were my companions during this time. Our trip to California couldn't be better timed for me. It gave me the diversio