Life is for those who LIVE!!!

  To borrow a quote from A Tale of Two Cities "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us...." You came in with such hope and right in the middle, you devastated me with one swift blow.  At the close of it, I find it necessary to take stock of where I've come from in order to move forward into the future.  I'll do it in a way that I saw a friend do it - only I've added pictures too!  January - Came in pregnant with expectations.  the last 3 boring weeks of bed rest and then all of a sudden a dramatic delivery and Luke was here! Such a beautiful baby! Such a beautiful delivery! Then Luke went back into the hospital for Jaundice .  The euphoria I felt s

I've been debating about what to do about Santa Claus since I got pregnant.  At first I felt unsure about what my decision should be.  But the older Luke gets, the more I feel positive about what I want to do.  I have decided that I am not going to play the Santa card.  Or the elf on the shelf card.  Now don't get me wrong, I think it is perfectly fine for other parents to do so.  I just don't think I want to make that choice.  I have many reasons why I think this and maybe getting them down on paper will make people get off my back about it.  I have never been good at debating and I get tongue tied when people try to argue with me.   1.  Christmas should be about giving.  NOT receiving.  I don't want Luke growing up solely focused on what he is receiving for Christmas.  I want him to know and enjoy the satisfaction of giving a great gift.  I want him to be excited on Christmas morning because he wants to see someone else's face as they open their gifts.  I realiz

Luke weighs wears size 4 diapers wears size 18 months clothing still only has 1 tooth takes 2 naps a day eat solid foods at every meal! Luke had his first Halloween.  We did not dress up    He is kinda dramatic.  kinda....         crawls everywhere and pulls himself up onto everything      When he gets really tired he gets punch drunk and laughs at everything!!!  I love it!       

My Dearest Luke, In November I promised to write a letter a day to someone in my life.  You are my letter for "someone who brings me joy."  So here we go I remember when you were born and the weeks following were filled with so much love, light, and happiness.  If I had to describe those weeks I'd sum it up by saying "pure unbridled joy".  I visualize it like sun shine  pouring out on the world.  When Brittany died, I lost a huge, huge part of myself.  I remember being in California hours after I heard the terrible news and I couldn't sleep.  I tossed and turned and you had a fitful night as well.  We were sleeping in the same room as your crib and I bet I kept you up.  You woke up crying and I fed you but you still fussed and didn't want to be put back down (which is so unusual).  I remember standing in the middle of the room and rocking you in the night with tears pouring down my face and pooling onto the top of your head, until they finally slid d

Luke weighs 22.7 lbs Luke is 28 inches long wears size 4 diapers wears size 18 months clothing finally has 1 tooth takes 2 naps a day He is crawling everywhere!  But he's still pretty slow at it     He eats a lot and is starting to get the hang of his sippy cup after meals   He started getting rashes from mandarin oranges and foods with acid in them like spaghetti :o(     He started sleeping on his tummy with his butt up in the air.  it's so cute     We took him to the park and he liked it a little bit but not as much as I thought he would.  He wanted to put his mouth on everything and we didn't want to let him.     He is starting to stand up in his crib now when we he wakes up   He likes playing with his cars on his ramps like a big boy!        

So this November I want to do a different kind of 30 day challenge.  Everyone loves to get mail but very few people actually receive real mail anymore.  So in November, I am going to write and send out 30 letters to people.  Most of these are things that I am thankful for.  The following list is a list of ideas of people to send a letter to: 1.  someone who changed my life 2.  someone who supported me in hard times 3.  someone who brings me joy 4.  letter to myself in the future - obviously I can't mail this 5.  letter to someone who is currently in the armed forces 6.  letter to someone who has served in the armed forces in the past 7.  letter to a secret keeper 8.  letter to someone who holds my past 9.  letter to a former teacher 10.  letter to a friend 11.  letter to a family member 12.  letter to someone who I admire 13.  letter to someone who inspires me 14.  letter to a leader 15.  letter to another new mom 16.  letter to someone who helped me through my pre

some of these lines have been floating around in my head for several weeks now and they just came together tonight.  It's one of those things that I just couldn't get out of my head until I wrote it down.  letters written letters read letters from souls who are dead letters carved upon a grave letters are the things I save letters written on those lines letters penned from hands that are mine letters in a spot near to my bed letters memorized in my head letters inked upon my skin letters from a voice within letters with a sense of peace letters that are meant to ease letters written letters sent letters confirming what I meant letters ushering the peace I've found letters soothe my crying sounds letters containing things unsaid All I have are letters written letters read

I had to write a letter of advice to a fictitious 16 year old girl giving my sage advice about the business world.  Of course I thought of Brittany immediately and even though she isn't here for me to tell her these things, this is what I WOULD have told her if she had asked.  The professor told me that it was "really lovely" and "one of the best letters from the class".  I thought I'd share because why the heck not.  Maybe one day I'll have a baby girl to tell these things to......          Dear Brittany, I am flattered that you think so highly of me that you are seeking my advice.   I have found these ideas immensely helpful to me and I hope you will find as much success with them as I have.   Being a young woman has many advantages, but I have always believed that a woman should be able to support herself no matter what life brings her way.   Because of this, I am a huge proponent of education.   In addition to getting your Bachelor’s

I've always been really intuitive to things and the older I get the more in tune to things I am.  I can read people's emotions really well and I can quickly assess whether or not people are good people or if they have ulterior motives.  I had a psychic tell me once that I can do what she does if I wanted to and while I wouldn't go that far I have actually had dreams that predicted several pregnancies before I knew they were trying, and dreams that told me the sex of several pregnancies before the parents even knew, and I even had a 2 dreams and told my best friend what her son would look like before he was born and I was spot on.  With that being said, I don't know if this is my mind trying to comfort me or if it is you Shadow.  I want to believe it is you.  Even if it is my mind, at least it is giving me some small comfort in my time of need.  The following is a list of times that I've distinctly felt you or dreamed about you since you've been gone.  It's

At 8 months old Luke is: Luke weighs Luke is 28 inches long wears size 4 diapers wears size 12 months clothing still has NO teeth!!! takes 2 naps a day eats food 3 times a day.  We have fed him grapes, mandarin oranges, red pears, green beans, avocado, steamed carrots, steamed zucchini and squash, steamed potatoes, steamed broccoli, chicken, pork, noodles He loves his food! Eating some Green Beans! He LOVES his electronic table He is starting to do chin ups on the furniture, gets his knees under his body and stands up! When he gets excited or mad he makes this face and holds his fists up and screams.  We call them fists of fury when he's mad.  fists of fury!!! Luke can give high fives! He is starting to use his walker a lot now!  he wants to be a big boy running around but he doesn't really like to crawl. He likes to eat his toes when he gets bored

Luke is seven months old!  Well seven and a half months old by now.  I'm a little behind the ball on this one.  I haven't even taken his progression pictures!  At seven months old Luke: weighs 20 lbs 7 oz is 27 1/2 inches long is in 12 months clothing wears size 4 diapers Luke is still toothless!  Lots of Drool but no teeth yet! Luke can sit up on his own now and reach for toys without falling over. Look at all those muscles! Luke loves his bath time fun!  He loves bath time!   Luke mostly eats pureed foods at meal times but we are trying to start feeding him actual fruits and vegetables.  He is still trying to figure out how to feed himself.     Luke loves sucking on his toes nom nom nom He is starting to try crawling.  It is pretty slow going right now but i'm sure he will pick up soon.  Sometimes he has to put his head down to help him crawl because his brains weigh too much  ;