Faith and Hope
Two weeks ago Richie and I went in for our routine 20 week sonogram. We were excited to see her but since we already knew she was a girl, we weren't expecting any surprises. But a surprise is what we got.
During the sonogram nothing really was said about any issues. She wasn't really cooperating by showing us between her legs just to confirm that she was a girl. She was laying on her side with the cord between her legs and no amount of jiggling or prodding by the doctor would get her to move. And he was trying really hard to move her. I remember at one point he was recording the blood flow of the cord and the screen goes a different color. It's supposed to be this Doppler looking thing (like you see on the weather channel) and the cord is supposed to turn red and blue. I remember it turning red and blue but it wasn't consistent and the color would stop and then it would flash up again. I think it's supposed to stay a solid color. We finished up and then went into the Dr. Office portion to wait to talk with my Dr. Again, this was expected so we weren't worried.
But while we were talking with the Dr. he said words the words "Your baby has been diagnosed with Single Umbilical Artery." At this point my brain started spinning a bit. I was a little confused because we were just watching her on the screen and she looked fine. Have you ever had those dreams when you are trying to run but you can't get any traction? That's how my brain felt. I was trying to understand what he was saying and the implications but my brain wasn't computing. I couldn't catch traction to think logically.
My first question was "where is this artery? And how many should she have?" He said that the artery runs through the umbilical cord and connects the baby to the placenta and normally there are two arteries. It's job is to transfer blood and nutrients to and from the baby and placenta.
He then stated "The good news was that her heart has all 4 chambers and appears to be functioning normally. She is also the size that she should be right now. Going forward, we will monitor you every month by sonogram just to make sure she continues growing at a normal rate." And with that we were ushered out the door. I was in a state of shock i think. I didn't know anything about this diagnosis and while the Dr. didn't seem overly concerned it wasn't reassuring to me. I went to class and sat kinda numbly and then I decided to google the diagnosis right in the middle of class. Probably not my smartest idea.
There is all sorts of information on the web about Single Umbilical Artery (SUA). It's not a very common diagnosis. The biggest risk is a heart defect. But at least I felt reassured that my Dr. mentioned specifically that her heart looked healthy. The second biggest risk is abnormalities caused by a lack of growth. This is the reason they want to monitor her every month by sonogram so that they can track her size. On the flip side, there are also a lot of babies who are born perfectly healthy with this diagnosis.
I would say that the first 2 or 3 days I walked around in a daze and was in the "what-if" stage. But the honest truth is that there is literally nothing that I can do or the Dr.'s can do about it. So what will be is going to be no matter what. I've asked friends/family on facebook to pray that she continues to grow and is born a healthy and happy baby. I myself pray nightly for this very thing.
But I'm past worrying about it for two reasons. The first is that I have faith that God will do what is right and what is in his plan. I didn't ask for prayers because I lacked faith in God. I asked for prayers because I know that I can either pray or worry. But I can't do both. I can either trust that God is going to hear me or I can worry about it on my own. I can't do both because praying first and worrying afterwards is an indication that I lack faith that he will see us through this. I truly believe I will never receive more than I can handle and that the trials in life make you more grateful for what you do have. It's a sweet/sour theory. I have faith that God will see us through.
The second reason is that with each passing day, I feel Harper move more and more. In the morning and at night when I am laying in bed I can feel her movements. Richie has even felt her once or twice. She's kicking me now as I type this. It feels like that is progress. It feels like she is getting stronger and bigger. Plus, Harper comes from a long line of women who are strong and stubborn. My Gram has gone through chemo treatment for Leukemia and the odds that were stacked against her were a lot worse that the odds for Harper. And Gram has continued defying the odds. So too, will Harper. Plus I'm too damn stubborn to consider any other possibility. She will be born healthy and happy damn it! Because I say so. So there. Take that Single Umbilical Artery!!
During the sonogram nothing really was said about any issues. She wasn't really cooperating by showing us between her legs just to confirm that she was a girl. She was laying on her side with the cord between her legs and no amount of jiggling or prodding by the doctor would get her to move. And he was trying really hard to move her. I remember at one point he was recording the blood flow of the cord and the screen goes a different color. It's supposed to be this Doppler looking thing (like you see on the weather channel) and the cord is supposed to turn red and blue. I remember it turning red and blue but it wasn't consistent and the color would stop and then it would flash up again. I think it's supposed to stay a solid color. We finished up and then went into the Dr. Office portion to wait to talk with my Dr. Again, this was expected so we weren't worried.
But while we were talking with the Dr. he said words the words "Your baby has been diagnosed with Single Umbilical Artery." At this point my brain started spinning a bit. I was a little confused because we were just watching her on the screen and she looked fine. Have you ever had those dreams when you are trying to run but you can't get any traction? That's how my brain felt. I was trying to understand what he was saying and the implications but my brain wasn't computing. I couldn't catch traction to think logically.
My first question was "where is this artery? And how many should she have?" He said that the artery runs through the umbilical cord and connects the baby to the placenta and normally there are two arteries. It's job is to transfer blood and nutrients to and from the baby and placenta.
He then stated "The good news was that her heart has all 4 chambers and appears to be functioning normally. She is also the size that she should be right now. Going forward, we will monitor you every month by sonogram just to make sure she continues growing at a normal rate." And with that we were ushered out the door. I was in a state of shock i think. I didn't know anything about this diagnosis and while the Dr. didn't seem overly concerned it wasn't reassuring to me. I went to class and sat kinda numbly and then I decided to google the diagnosis right in the middle of class. Probably not my smartest idea.
There is all sorts of information on the web about Single Umbilical Artery (SUA). It's not a very common diagnosis. The biggest risk is a heart defect. But at least I felt reassured that my Dr. mentioned specifically that her heart looked healthy. The second biggest risk is abnormalities caused by a lack of growth. This is the reason they want to monitor her every month by sonogram so that they can track her size. On the flip side, there are also a lot of babies who are born perfectly healthy with this diagnosis.
I would say that the first 2 or 3 days I walked around in a daze and was in the "what-if" stage. But the honest truth is that there is literally nothing that I can do or the Dr.'s can do about it. So what will be is going to be no matter what. I've asked friends/family on facebook to pray that she continues to grow and is born a healthy and happy baby. I myself pray nightly for this very thing.
But I'm past worrying about it for two reasons. The first is that I have faith that God will do what is right and what is in his plan. I didn't ask for prayers because I lacked faith in God. I asked for prayers because I know that I can either pray or worry. But I can't do both. I can either trust that God is going to hear me or I can worry about it on my own. I can't do both because praying first and worrying afterwards is an indication that I lack faith that he will see us through this. I truly believe I will never receive more than I can handle and that the trials in life make you more grateful for what you do have. It's a sweet/sour theory. I have faith that God will see us through.
The second reason is that with each passing day, I feel Harper move more and more. In the morning and at night when I am laying in bed I can feel her movements. Richie has even felt her once or twice. She's kicking me now as I type this. It feels like that is progress. It feels like she is getting stronger and bigger. Plus, Harper comes from a long line of women who are strong and stubborn. My Gram has gone through chemo treatment for Leukemia and the odds that were stacked against her were a lot worse that the odds for Harper. And Gram has continued defying the odds. So too, will Harper. Plus I'm too damn stubborn to consider any other possibility. She will be born healthy and happy damn it! Because I say so. So there. Take that Single Umbilical Artery!!
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| Harper at 20 weeks - her arm is in front of her face |
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