My Dearest Ellis
My Dearest Ellis,
Words are never enough to do our feelings justice, but I think I'm relatively good with words so I'll do my best. I still cannot comprehend that I am having a baby girl. A large part of it was what happened when I was pregnant with your brother. They originally told me he was a girl too, and we didn't know he wasn't for two whole months! It wasn't until the 4th sonogram where they told us that we were having a girl did I start to believe them.
I can feel you kicking around there and moving around with your head tucked up under my ribs (please oh please turn the right way soon!) but it's still hard to imagine what you look like and what your personality will be. This pregnancy has been relatively easy - with the exception of thinking that there may be something wrong with your heart and intestines. Once we got that cleared, it has been pretty quiet. I mostly feel great! I tend to get pretty tired after work and it's hard to manage everything when I'm so tired but, o baby girl, you are so worth it.
I hope you always, always know how much I have loved you and wanted you from day 1. After I had your brother, I always knew that I wanted another child. I just didn't feel complete. But now that you are a part of our family, I feel like I have everything I could have ever asked for. I have prayed for you every single day. You are so special to me.
You are named Ellis Rose. Ellis just came to me one day, and while you Daddy didn't love it at first, he loved the name Ellie. Ellie comes from Greek origins and means "Shining Light". I loved that your name and Luke's name both mean light. Rose comes from your sister Brittany. It was her middle name. I think back on the handful of dreams I had (some while Brittany was alive and some after she died), and I always dreamed that she was with a baby girl. I knew that the baby girl was mine and that Brittany was always playing and taking care of you in my dream. I know now that Brittany has been with you and looked after you from the very beginning. I am truly sorry that you won't know her in this lifetime, but I know that she is with us all.
Baby girl I have so many wishes and dreams and hopes for you. As with your brother, I wanted to take some time to gather them all up and write them down for you to be able to read and reflect on in your life.
Being a woman is hard. Maybe being a man is hard too. I wouldn't know. But I know that being a woman is hard work. May you always have the strength to be your own woman and stand on your own two feet. One message that I learned early on and heard my mother say very clearly time after time was to be my own woman. She told me to learn how to support myself so that I didn't have to rely on anyone else to support me. I want you to do that too. I want it so that you will always have your independence. But I also think that when you are a complete person, you will find another person who will be your partner in life who is also complete. you will know a greater happiness in this than trying to be with someone who "completes you". Because you are already complete. May you find a soul mate who treats you as well as your Daddy treats me - with love, respect, honor, support and lots of laughter.
The world will tell you that you have to look and act a certain way. But baby girl I want you to know that you are beautiful and strong and amazing JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. You don't need to try to be someone or something you aren't. Because you. are. perfectly. made.
May you find something you are passionate about in life and pursue it to your heart's desire. May you find happiness and contentment in your life.
May you be surrounded by family and friends who bring you happiness and who you make happy too. Please remember that family is the most important thing in the world, but that it's also pretty important to have friends.
I hope you give your word and mean it.
I hope you learn the value of hard work and dedication.
I hope you know that there is no higher calling that serving and helping other people. Whether that is working as a CEO of a company, or being a stay at home mom, or simply volunteering your time to help out those less fortunate.
May you love to travel and see the world and gain an understanding that all humans are equal regardless of race, sexuality, religion etc.
I also hope you truly understand that there is no limit on your future. YOU create the world that you want for yourself. no one else. So make your world in any way that makes you happy.
But mostly, my dearest Ellis, I hope that you always, always know that I love you. More than anything. You, your brother and your daddy are the best parts of my life and I am truly blessed to be called your mama. I can't wait to meet you and kiss those beautiful cheeks.
Love Always,
Your mama
Words are never enough to do our feelings justice, but I think I'm relatively good with words so I'll do my best. I still cannot comprehend that I am having a baby girl. A large part of it was what happened when I was pregnant with your brother. They originally told me he was a girl too, and we didn't know he wasn't for two whole months! It wasn't until the 4th sonogram where they told us that we were having a girl did I start to believe them.
I can feel you kicking around there and moving around with your head tucked up under my ribs (please oh please turn the right way soon!) but it's still hard to imagine what you look like and what your personality will be. This pregnancy has been relatively easy - with the exception of thinking that there may be something wrong with your heart and intestines. Once we got that cleared, it has been pretty quiet. I mostly feel great! I tend to get pretty tired after work and it's hard to manage everything when I'm so tired but, o baby girl, you are so worth it.
I hope you always, always know how much I have loved you and wanted you from day 1. After I had your brother, I always knew that I wanted another child. I just didn't feel complete. But now that you are a part of our family, I feel like I have everything I could have ever asked for. I have prayed for you every single day. You are so special to me.
You are named Ellis Rose. Ellis just came to me one day, and while you Daddy didn't love it at first, he loved the name Ellie. Ellie comes from Greek origins and means "Shining Light". I loved that your name and Luke's name both mean light. Rose comes from your sister Brittany. It was her middle name. I think back on the handful of dreams I had (some while Brittany was alive and some after she died), and I always dreamed that she was with a baby girl. I knew that the baby girl was mine and that Brittany was always playing and taking care of you in my dream. I know now that Brittany has been with you and looked after you from the very beginning. I am truly sorry that you won't know her in this lifetime, but I know that she is with us all.
Baby girl I have so many wishes and dreams and hopes for you. As with your brother, I wanted to take some time to gather them all up and write them down for you to be able to read and reflect on in your life.
Being a woman is hard. Maybe being a man is hard too. I wouldn't know. But I know that being a woman is hard work. May you always have the strength to be your own woman and stand on your own two feet. One message that I learned early on and heard my mother say very clearly time after time was to be my own woman. She told me to learn how to support myself so that I didn't have to rely on anyone else to support me. I want you to do that too. I want it so that you will always have your independence. But I also think that when you are a complete person, you will find another person who will be your partner in life who is also complete. you will know a greater happiness in this than trying to be with someone who "completes you". Because you are already complete. May you find a soul mate who treats you as well as your Daddy treats me - with love, respect, honor, support and lots of laughter.
The world will tell you that you have to look and act a certain way. But baby girl I want you to know that you are beautiful and strong and amazing JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. You don't need to try to be someone or something you aren't. Because you. are. perfectly. made.
May you find something you are passionate about in life and pursue it to your heart's desire. May you find happiness and contentment in your life.
May you be surrounded by family and friends who bring you happiness and who you make happy too. Please remember that family is the most important thing in the world, but that it's also pretty important to have friends.
I hope you give your word and mean it.
I hope you learn the value of hard work and dedication.
I hope you know that there is no higher calling that serving and helping other people. Whether that is working as a CEO of a company, or being a stay at home mom, or simply volunteering your time to help out those less fortunate.
May you love to travel and see the world and gain an understanding that all humans are equal regardless of race, sexuality, religion etc.
I also hope you truly understand that there is no limit on your future. YOU create the world that you want for yourself. no one else. So make your world in any way that makes you happy.
But mostly, my dearest Ellis, I hope that you always, always know that I love you. More than anything. You, your brother and your daddy are the best parts of my life and I am truly blessed to be called your mama. I can't wait to meet you and kiss those beautiful cheeks.
Love Always,
Your mama
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