O boy!!! Surprise! It's a BOY!!!
Our last Dr. appt started out much like any other Dr. appt. Lots of waiting around the waiting room and then finally we are called in. I held my breath the whole time thinking "Please let this baby be growing and look healthy." The guy who does the sonogram is pretty socially awkward (why he would choose a profession where he sees women on a daily basis and is touching them with a wand is beyond me. nice guy but TOTALLY AWKWARD). He doesn't really say much during the whole process unless you ask him questions and then he will answer away. He said "everything looks good and your baby weighs a pound a half and is growing beautifully. Are you interested in knowing the sex of the baby?" Well yes of course we want confirmation of the sex of the baby. So again he starts moving around and then he freezes the screen and says "See those things there between the legs? It's a boy!"
And he smiles at me. I only remember time stopping and i practically- well not practically i actually did yell at him "Are you shitting me??" He got so uncomfortable and said "no i'm serious. See this little turtle looking thing here?"
At the time i didn't even get what he meant because my mind was reeling and i had started to cry. And i continued to cry for a solid 30 minutes. Richie had laughed originally when he heard the news but now he was at a loss as to what to say to me as was the sonogram technician who awkwardly handed me a tissue and ushered me out the door. The people in the waiting room stared at me and my Dr. asked me what was wrong. I just knew i wanted to go home. It was a long weekend.
The only thing i can really say about that is that for 8 weeks I had been talking to a baby girl in my head and my heart and my dreams. And i felt like i was suddenly stripped of her. I was not prepared. It's not that I didn't want a boy because Richie and I just wanted a happy, healthy baby. But i had already built these dreams and ideas about her and suddenly they meant nothing. I was at a loss. The only way i can really draw a analogy is that I love volleyball and basketball equally. But for 8 weeks someone told me to practice volleyball so that's all i thought about pretty much 24-7. Then suddenly I was thrown into a basketball game and I wasn't prepared. I love playing both sports but i'm such a huge planner and it took me by surprise. It took me an entire week to adjust to the new way of thinking.
So here we are now starting from square one. I had already registered for all girls things so i had to go and delete each item one by one that i no longer wanted. We had already (mostly) sent out baby shower invites in a pink theme with the girl's name on it. I just decided to leave those alone and not torture my mom into making new ones. Everyone i had invited was on FB and had probably already seen the news. I had to return a big pile of baby clothing that was no longer appropriate as we were now having a boy. We also needed to think of nursery colors and boys names.
We finally settled on Luke Andersen. Luke means "from Lucanus" which is an old region of Italy. Italy is my favorite place in the world (besides Ireland but Richie was not having any of the traditional Irish names). It also stems from the name Lucas which means "light or bringer of light" and I want baby boy to know that he truly does light up our life. Andersen comes from my great, great grandpa who was named Anders Andersen who hails from Denmark. His mother put him and two younger siblings on a ship bound for America when he was only 10 years old. He worked hard his entire life and had a devoted family. So i wanted to honor my side of the family and give our little guy a name to be proud of and that would give him strength and inspire him to believe that anything is possible.
Luke is growing stronger and I can feel him move mostly in the AM and the PM. He is already far too much like his father in that he is a night owl and he also somehow knows when someone else besides me has a hand on my belly. He refuses to move very much if he knows someone else is there. It's so funny. He will be moving up a storm and then when Richie puts his hand there he stops. This is more funny to me than it is to Richie.
I can tell Richie is excited. He doesn't always come out and express his feelings (other than constantly telling me he loves me). But through our entire relationship he has posted songs on my FB as a way to express his feelings. The other day he posted the song "Danny's Song" by kenny loggins on my fb page. It sent me into the ugly cry at a very early time in the AM. Sweet man of mine...... and a sweet baby boy on the way. I gotta say that I can't complain....
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| Baby Boy at 24 weeks |
And he smiles at me. I only remember time stopping and i practically- well not practically i actually did yell at him "Are you shitting me??" He got so uncomfortable and said "no i'm serious. See this little turtle looking thing here?"
 |
| I obviously get the turtle reference now |
At the time i didn't even get what he meant because my mind was reeling and i had started to cry. And i continued to cry for a solid 30 minutes. Richie had laughed originally when he heard the news but now he was at a loss as to what to say to me as was the sonogram technician who awkwardly handed me a tissue and ushered me out the door. The people in the waiting room stared at me and my Dr. asked me what was wrong. I just knew i wanted to go home. It was a long weekend.
The only thing i can really say about that is that for 8 weeks I had been talking to a baby girl in my head and my heart and my dreams. And i felt like i was suddenly stripped of her. I was not prepared. It's not that I didn't want a boy because Richie and I just wanted a happy, healthy baby. But i had already built these dreams and ideas about her and suddenly they meant nothing. I was at a loss. The only way i can really draw a analogy is that I love volleyball and basketball equally. But for 8 weeks someone told me to practice volleyball so that's all i thought about pretty much 24-7. Then suddenly I was thrown into a basketball game and I wasn't prepared. I love playing both sports but i'm such a huge planner and it took me by surprise. It took me an entire week to adjust to the new way of thinking.
So here we are now starting from square one. I had already registered for all girls things so i had to go and delete each item one by one that i no longer wanted. We had already (mostly) sent out baby shower invites in a pink theme with the girl's name on it. I just decided to leave those alone and not torture my mom into making new ones. Everyone i had invited was on FB and had probably already seen the news. I had to return a big pile of baby clothing that was no longer appropriate as we were now having a boy. We also needed to think of nursery colors and boys names.
We finally settled on Luke Andersen. Luke means "from Lucanus" which is an old region of Italy. Italy is my favorite place in the world (besides Ireland but Richie was not having any of the traditional Irish names). It also stems from the name Lucas which means "light or bringer of light" and I want baby boy to know that he truly does light up our life. Andersen comes from my great, great grandpa who was named Anders Andersen who hails from Denmark. His mother put him and two younger siblings on a ship bound for America when he was only 10 years old. He worked hard his entire life and had a devoted family. So i wanted to honor my side of the family and give our little guy a name to be proud of and that would give him strength and inspire him to believe that anything is possible.
Luke is growing stronger and I can feel him move mostly in the AM and the PM. He is already far too much like his father in that he is a night owl and he also somehow knows when someone else besides me has a hand on my belly. He refuses to move very much if he knows someone else is there. It's so funny. He will be moving up a storm and then when Richie puts his hand there he stops. This is more funny to me than it is to Richie.
I can tell Richie is excited. He doesn't always come out and express his feelings (other than constantly telling me he loves me). But through our entire relationship he has posted songs on my FB as a way to express his feelings. The other day he posted the song "Danny's Song" by kenny loggins on my fb page. It sent me into the ugly cry at a very early time in the AM. Sweet man of mine...... and a sweet baby boy on the way. I gotta say that I can't complain....
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