The case against Santa Claus
I've been debating about what to do about Santa Claus since I got pregnant. At first I felt unsure about what my decision should be. But the older Luke gets, the more I feel positive about what I want to do. I have decided that I am not going to play the Santa card. Or the elf on the shelf card. Now don't get me wrong, I think it is perfectly fine for other parents to do so. I just don't think I want to make that choice. I have many reasons why I think this and maybe getting them down on paper will make people get off my back about it. I have never been good at debating and I get tongue tied when people try to argue with me.
1. Christmas should be about giving. NOT receiving. I don't want Luke growing up solely focused on what he is receiving for Christmas. I want him to know and enjoy the satisfaction of giving a great gift. I want him to be excited on Christmas morning because he wants to see someone else's face as they open their gifts. I realize that this may be a lofty, pie-in-the-sky idealistic view point. But so be it. If I promote good behavior because Santa is watching, and you won't get any gifts on Christmas morning, that focuses his attention to himself and what he is getting. That's just not a message that I want to send. I hope to show him the joy of giving to people - those who are family and random acts of kindness - year round but especially this time of year.
2. I don't want to lie to Luke. I want a relationship based on honesty. I want him to know that even if a question is tough, even if the answer isn't pretty, that he can ask me and trust that I will always shoot it straight. I don't mean to say that I will brutally honest and not spare his feelings. I think you can always tactfully tell people the honest truth. I want Luke to know that from me. I don't want to lie over something so trivial like Santa. I know of many adults who recall with shocking clarity the moment they found out the truth about Santa. I don't want him to have a memory like that. I also don't want him to question the other things I've told him because he found out I lied about this one thing.
3. I don't want the holiday to be about Santa Claus to exclude the fact that it is a religious holiday. I believe in God and Jesus. I believe that we celebrate Christmas as his birthday. I may not go to church - mostly specifically by choice because of how organized religions treat those who are gay... but I digress. I may not go to church but I have a spiritual relationship with God. I don't tout it because I don't feel like it is anyone else's business but mine and God. I pray daily and I want Luke to have a spiritual connection as well. A Christmas focused solely on Santa excludes that important piece as well.
4. This reason is strictly selfish but if I am going to shell out some dough for a present, I want the credit for it. lol I don't want santa to give all the cool gifts. I work hard for my money, so I want the glory.
Now my every single ornament on my Christmas tree and almost every single decoration I have are Santa Claus theme so obviously I won't be able to avoid the inevitable conversation that will ensue.
I'm not going to deny the existence of Santa Claus. The game plan is to explain how Santa Claus was an awesome historical figure who got great joy out of serving others and spreading holiday cheer by giving some awesome gifts. And how cool is that guy? Let's be like him and buy some gifts for people that will bring them joy too!
If Luke ever wants to take a pic with Santa Claus them I'll take him to do that. But I'll find one that's not a creepy mall Santa with a fake beard. I want a for real old guy with a for real beard. And if Luke cries on Santa's lap - so much the better picture - jk... kinda..... But if he never asks to do that, then fine with me.
When I think about my own childhood I don't remember believing in Santa. That's another debatable point in my family. I know that I didn't really believe in him. I may have pretended to so that I could get more presents but I didn't truly believe. I had 3 older brothers...... come on now........
But what I remember the most about Christmas isn't the gifts I got from a pretend guy. What I remember most is putting up the tree the day of (or after) Thanksgiving, putting up the village with my Dad, listening to Tony Benett's Christmas cd, all of the yummy food, the way my mom always decked out the house with decorations and the entire family coming together. and THAT is what I want Luke to remember about his childhood Christmas memories - NOT some fake old guy who gave him gifts as a bribe to be good.
If that makes me a bad parent, then so be it.
1. Christmas should be about giving. NOT receiving. I don't want Luke growing up solely focused on what he is receiving for Christmas. I want him to know and enjoy the satisfaction of giving a great gift. I want him to be excited on Christmas morning because he wants to see someone else's face as they open their gifts. I realize that this may be a lofty, pie-in-the-sky idealistic view point. But so be it. If I promote good behavior because Santa is watching, and you won't get any gifts on Christmas morning, that focuses his attention to himself and what he is getting. That's just not a message that I want to send. I hope to show him the joy of giving to people - those who are family and random acts of kindness - year round but especially this time of year.
2. I don't want to lie to Luke. I want a relationship based on honesty. I want him to know that even if a question is tough, even if the answer isn't pretty, that he can ask me and trust that I will always shoot it straight. I don't mean to say that I will brutally honest and not spare his feelings. I think you can always tactfully tell people the honest truth. I want Luke to know that from me. I don't want to lie over something so trivial like Santa. I know of many adults who recall with shocking clarity the moment they found out the truth about Santa. I don't want him to have a memory like that. I also don't want him to question the other things I've told him because he found out I lied about this one thing.
3. I don't want the holiday to be about Santa Claus to exclude the fact that it is a religious holiday. I believe in God and Jesus. I believe that we celebrate Christmas as his birthday. I may not go to church - mostly specifically by choice because of how organized religions treat those who are gay... but I digress. I may not go to church but I have a spiritual relationship with God. I don't tout it because I don't feel like it is anyone else's business but mine and God. I pray daily and I want Luke to have a spiritual connection as well. A Christmas focused solely on Santa excludes that important piece as well.
4. This reason is strictly selfish but if I am going to shell out some dough for a present, I want the credit for it. lol I don't want santa to give all the cool gifts. I work hard for my money, so I want the glory.
Now my every single ornament on my Christmas tree and almost every single decoration I have are Santa Claus theme so obviously I won't be able to avoid the inevitable conversation that will ensue.
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| My very first Christmas tree in 2008 |
I'm not going to deny the existence of Santa Claus. The game plan is to explain how Santa Claus was an awesome historical figure who got great joy out of serving others and spreading holiday cheer by giving some awesome gifts. And how cool is that guy? Let's be like him and buy some gifts for people that will bring them joy too!
If Luke ever wants to take a pic with Santa Claus them I'll take him to do that. But I'll find one that's not a creepy mall Santa with a fake beard. I want a for real old guy with a for real beard. And if Luke cries on Santa's lap - so much the better picture - jk... kinda..... But if he never asks to do that, then fine with me.
 |
| Not a realistic beard at all!! |
When I think about my own childhood I don't remember believing in Santa. That's another debatable point in my family. I know that I didn't really believe in him. I may have pretended to so that I could get more presents but I didn't truly believe. I had 3 older brothers...... come on now........
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| Who the hell is this guy????? |
But what I remember the most about Christmas isn't the gifts I got from a pretend guy. What I remember most is putting up the tree the day of (or after) Thanksgiving, putting up the village with my Dad, listening to Tony Benett's Christmas cd, all of the yummy food, the way my mom always decked out the house with decorations and the entire family coming together. and THAT is what I want Luke to remember about his childhood Christmas memories - NOT some fake old guy who gave him gifts as a bribe to be good.
If that makes me a bad parent, then so be it.
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